“Six Signs That You Should Consider Ending Your Relationship”
When you have been part of a lengthy committed relationship, it is common to repress any doubts about your romantic feelings and to have difficulty facing up to the fact that you may no longer be in love. You might be frightened of what it would be like to be single after all this time, you may dread the prospect of inflicting pain, and you may worry about what other people will think if you break up. However, for the sake of yourself and your partner, it is vital to be honest with yourself about how you feel and whether you truly want to remain in the relationship. Read on to discover the six main signs that you should consider ending your relationship, and to find out what you may be able to do to save the relationship if it turns out that you are still in love.
1) You lack the motivation to fix interpersonal problems:
Most couples have some minor problems relating to each other or agreeing on certain topics, and these clashes are not a death sentence for the relationship. A far more ominous sign is no longer caring about any flaws in the relationship and having no drive to fix your problems. Many couples who have stopped trying to improve things are no longer in love, so if this description is familiar to you then it may be a good idea to consider moving on.
2) The primary thing keeping you in the relationship is no longer love:
Even if your partner happens to provide you with financial security or is the main person you talk to about your problems, if you reflect on your relationship then you should find that love is the main reason why you stay together. If this is not the case for you and your partner, think about what you do view as the main thing that keeps you in the relationship. If you are together because you are scared to be alone, because you need support or because you have so many friends in common, it is time to consider whether it is truly fair to stay with your partner.
3) Your romantic urges are directed elsewhere:
Many people find it acceptable for their partners to feel a superficial attraction to celebrities and to people that pass by on the street, but few partnerships are compatible with the formation of a significant and enduring attraction to someone outside the relationship. If you are experiencing a strong sexual or romantic interest in someone other than your partner, this is a warning sign that your relationship is not satisfying you in the ways that would be necessary to retain your attention. When this problem occurs, it is important to give some serious thought to whether you are unconsciously looking for someone new because you no longer love your primary partner in the right way.
4) You no longer enjoy your partner’s personality:
If you are to have a healthy relationship, mutual respect must be present. It is perfectly fine to be mildly irritated by some of your partner’s quirks and habits, but you should think about ending the relationship if you no longer admire anything about your partner. If you grit your teeth every time your partner makes a joke, find their stories dull or notice that you are uninterested in their personal or professional successes, this is strong evidence that you are no longer in love.
5) You lack any sexual attraction to your partner:
Most couples go through sexual dry spells during which they may feel less physically attracted to each other and be less interested in sex. However, if you still feel romantic love for your partner then you should still be able enjoy sex at least some of the time, and should find it to be a pleasurably intimate activity. If you feel uncomfortable or even disgusted by the thought of having sex with your partner, you should seriously consider ending your relationship on the grounds that your relationship has become platonic (or even purely antagonistic).
6) The relationship simply does not feel right:
When you are in the process of falling out of love with someone, before you consciously acknowledge this painful truth it is common to feel a nagging sense of discomfort and sadness. You may find yourself occasionally wondering if you still want to be with your partner, but fear or confusion may push you to rationalize your reservations and provide alternative explanations for your feeling of unease. For example, you might think that any mature relationship naturally lacks passion. If you force yourself to honestly consider the question of whether you still want to be with your partner, you may find that you want to end the relationship no matter what is causing the reduction in your feelings of love.
If some of the above signs sound familiar but you find you are still unsure about whether you want to continue your relationship, it may be worth making an appointment to see a relationship counselor. You can go alone if you want to receive informed advice on how to decide whether to leave your partner, or you can attend with your partner if you want to work towards building a relationship that is more likely to make you both happy. Although there is a chance that the counseling process might only serve to make it more obvious that your romantic relationship is over, it may be less painful to come to this conclusion in a way that is mutual and respectful.